Music and Entertainment

   People are very particular about the type of music and entertainment they are interested in. Music seems to take the lead in the entertainment bracket, when it comes to things to be particular about. Movies and recreation seem to be, kind of, on the back burner in comparison with music. I believe this is because music speaks directly to the soul. It can arouse or discourage emotion, courage, tenderness, anger, hurt, compassion, unity, love, bitterness, hate, sensuality, etc. It truly is a magical force given to us as a gift from a loving God. However, as with all things given to man, we have the ability, and are prone, to pervert the very gifts from God; and so it is with music!

   As a Follower of Christ, and as one seeking to honor the Lord with all members of my body; including the ears, it would be easy to exclude all types of music, save, Spiritual songs of praise and hymns (Rom 6:13). However, I believe this would be a very legalistic approach to music as a whole. And we must remember that we have freedom in Christ, but yet, all that we partake in is not always beneficial for growing our relationship with God (1 Cor. 10:23). That being said, I would like to delve into what qualifies a certain type of music as “God honoring”.

  Music comes in all shapes and sizes, colors, and sounds. Each differing sound appeals to diverse generations and people, cultures and races.  What may be a disturbing sound to you may be a soothing or beautiful sound to another. Need proof? Go ask your grandmother what she thinks of your latest music download. In the debate of what sound is right or God honoring, truly, as the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder….or ear! So, what then would disqualify a type of music from being God honoring? Inevitably, the “God honoring” quality, lies in the lyrics. Additionally, the actions of the performer play a big role in how we measure the music. For example, a music artist could sing about Jesus until he/she is blue in the face, but if his music videos are full of inappropriately dressed women, I think it would be safe to start questioning the God honoring aspect of the artists’ music….wouldn’t you? I am not suggesting that each lyric has to be a sermon-in-a-song to be of godly quality. However, we must measure our music and entertainment by Gods measuring stick, given to us in Philippians chapter four:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Phil. 4:8).”

  Music is a type of mediation. It can be used as a way to cope, an escape from reality, or a form of relaxation. Whether we are focusing on the lyrics or not, when we are listening to a certain artist, the lyrics still make their way into the subconscious, growing or decaying our spirit. If you disagree with this, maybe you could test it for yourself? Try listening to only music with lyrics that edify a godly spirit for one month, and see if it does or doesn’t result in spiritual conviction and growth.

   Unfortunately, we cannot tuck our lives away from the secular world around us. This means that we will take in our fair share of ungodly media. I believe this is why the bible explains- what goes into the man is not what qualifies him as godly, but what comes from within him defiles the man (Matt. 15:16-20). This scripture speaks of food; however, it is a metaphor for all circumstances in life. God knew that we would have to get our senses dirty, so-to-speak, to minister to the lost. We must be aware of what drives the lives and choices of those people around us. God loved us enough that he wanted to understand our depraved condition, so he became one of us to understand us….to save us! Christ did everything “short of sin” to show us how much he loved us; how much he wanted to understand his creation.¹ I conclude with this statement from Paul.

“I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as  weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.”

1.      1.Gross, Mahon, Starving Jesus (Colorado Springs, David C. Cook 2007) pg. 141-157

God's Design

   This video is about freshwater mussels and how they attract fish to their mouths to feed. I watched a TV show that had a segment on these species of mussels and was blown away by how awesome our God is. This video really just put me in awe of how great of a designer our Creator God really is.

   Notice the flaps of tissue that resemble a swimming minnow gently floating on the freshwater current just outside of the mussels opening/mouth? That flap of skin specifically resembles the type of minnow that attracts the specific type of fish that that specific mussel feeds on! WOW!

Can I just say "WOW" again??

Okay,

WOW!!!

How amazing is that?!

   It's unfortunate that your average everyday atheist denies the use of creation, such as- wildlife, weather and plants, as a means of proving a designer. It really takes someone heavily blinded by sin and Satan himself to not be able to see God's divine design in something as simple as these little clams.

   These little mussels sing shout's of praise to our God without one word spoken! And through these little clams my heart sing's a melody of praise to our great designer....our wonderful Creator....our God!

Revelation 10:6 

"And he swore by him who lives for ever and ever, who created the heavens and all that is in them, the earth and all that is in it, and the sea and all that is in it, and said, "There will be no more delay!"

Psalm 148:7 

 "Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,"

     
 

The "I just can't do this anymore!" marriage. (PART 2)

   Just for the record, if you are looking to this article for an excuse to leave your spouse....you've completely missed the objective of this post. My goal is not to separate, but to reconcile! It is always about reconciliation save adultery, abuse or Spiritual differences that are irreconcilable(1 Cor. 7:15). But even in those circumstances reconciliation is possible and encouraged! A Christ-like perception on this matter seems to point to long-suffering, grace, mercy, forgiveness, patience with each other, commitment...You get the point, right?

   When I mentioned in part one of this blog, if their was "an OUT that honors God," I was referring to a marriage situation that was becoming unbearable living situations with a spouse. For example- I know of a few couples that are dealing with either intense verbal abuse, pornography, indulgent spending from one spouse or the other that is constantly thrusting them further and further in debt....and it is a constant battle for control. And there are other situations worthy of this I'm sure. However, all of these situations are either at or reaching their boiling points.You may even know of a few couples dealing with these same circumstances, if you aren't in one yourself.

   So....What can we do? When all attempts have failed and you

"just can't do this anymore!" 

    I'm sure I will be skating on thin ice with this logic....but here we go!

I say..... get out! 

That's right, just move out! 

   Now, this is so very sensitive. This really has a lot to do with the spiritual condition of the spouse leaving. If your intent on leaving is to start seeking a new relationship.... then you are WAY out of line and you have moved in the opposite direction of this post. However, if you moving out is to save or reconcile your relationship to your spouse...then you have interpreted this post correctly!  Like I was saying "it is ALWAYS about reconciliation. 
   
    You can function without your spouse! Their is bound to be some separation anxiety, but you can survive. You may not have to rent a place....but maybe you can move in with family or friends. Now...this is also a very sensitive issue! Who are you surrounding yourself to get you through this? Who is speaking encouragement and wisdom into your life? This is so very important and I cannot stress this enough! You MUST be around those who encourage you to be strong in the faith! You must NOT surround yourself with those who encourage you to "get out" of the relationship, or kick your spouse to the curb. This is very unhealthy and ungodly advice. 

   Here is a verse from 1 Corinthians 7 that deals with this issue, it reads-

"A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife."

    If you are opposed to this advice it is probably because you have never crossed paths with an unbearable issue in your marriage. But trust me, they are alive in many marriages today! Sadly, most of them will end in divorce! So what is better I ask you- separation with intent to reconcile or divorce? Like I said, this type of action has to be determined by the spiritual condition of the leaving spouse. I believe that this type of action can really be God honoring. This is not an action that is about punishing the spouse, getting even or starting a new life without your spouse. If you have seen this post in that light then you have once again missed it!

It is always about reconciling the marriage!

   The intent of this type of action is to speak a number of things: 

• First, it is to allows the both of you to examine yourselves. Examine your relationship with your spouse, with God.....Examine your intentions and expectations. Maybe your expectations of your spouse are extremely high and impossible to achieve? Maybe not. Maybe your intentions are selfish and based on material things? Maybe not! None-the-less...you are both moving in a direction that allows you to think.  

• Secondly , it allows you both to just breathe....Most of the couples in these situation feel like they are suffocating on each other. Anger, resentment and bitterness consume you, with no real escape. Space allows each of you to collect yourselves. I believe it can recharge your marital batteries if your objective is to reconcile.  

• Thirdly, this action will let your spouse know just how serious this issue really is. It let's your spouse know, without a doubt, that you mean business! Unfortunately a lot of spouses never really know the severity of an issue until it is too late. When reconciliation is what drives your decisions, then you are choosing to honor God to the best of your ability in your broken marriage. 

   I am not condoning leaving your spouse at the drop of a hat...or over trivial disputes or normal marital issues. That type of action is ridiculous and absurd! I know that some people will use this advice to condone an action of divorce....they always do! But I truly believe that those people had divorce in mind from the beginning of any action taken. I believe that their motive was never reconciliation.

   Also remember that we have made this commitment to our spouse in the presence of God....and to God! Their is actually scripture that encourages us to stay together if at all possible...even when it becomes difficult! Even when the husband/wife is not acting in line with God's word!

Yes, I said, even when the husband/wife is not acting in line with God's word!

1 Peter 3:1-6 deals with this point directly, speaking of how the unbelieving or spiritually weak husband may be "won over" by his wife's godly character and her submission to God and to her husband.

   Let  me conclude with this, a broken marriage can ALWAYS be mended! Don't give up! Fight for your family! Fight for your marriage! And when you don't have any more fight left.....give it to the Lord! Move out of the way and allow him to work in your heart and allow him to work in your spouse. God can work a miracle in your marriage if you both allow him to.

   Unfortunately, The ugly truth is that your spouse may not have reconciliation in mind.  You are not in control of your spouse! But know this, we are only responsible for our actions....how we choose to honor God  with our choices. But you can have peace in knowing that your actions have always been about reconciliation no matter the outcome.
    
     I pray this blog was encouraging to you! I hope that the one theme from this blog that is rolling over in your mind is not "how to leave my spouse," but that it is always about reconciliation of your marriage! God bless!

The "I just can't do this anymore!" marriage. (PART 1)

   What is left but to let go when you are dangling at the end of your marital rope and it seems like your spouse is at the other end trying to shake you off?

   The truth is, this very well may be, for you, the end or beginning of a grueling bout with what seems to be an impossible marriage union. How do we keep on going if their is nothing to work with when it comes to your spouse's participation to fix what is LONG been broken in your marriage? Is their light at the end of this tunnel... or does it simply have to go on like this til the day we die?

   Just to re-assure you, I am not about to shoot this advice to those reading based on a theory of "what works." I have been there! I am not just spitting text book knowledge or something I learned in a seminar. I know what works, what doesn't and ultimately how God plays part in this issue, based on experience. I am not shedding any details of my past, but just know that God is able to use our experiences to help others. I have just recently been re-married this year to a wonderful woman after five years of playing the single parent, and couldn't be happier....But enough about me:)

   How are we going to continue in our marriage when the counseling sessions aren't working and the mental anguish simply has to stop!  When every Pastor you have seen tells you to "put God first" but you know that this is the last thing on your spouses mind? When we get down to the "bottom line" the question at hand really is- 

Is their an out that honor's God?

   How can we know what is missing from our spouse or marriage without first knowing what is expected for a good godly marriage to be a success? Well, why don't we first take a moment to assess twelve attributes of a God honoring husband or wife. Here we go!


The Husband : 

• The husband is "the head of the wife, as Christ is the church." (Eph. 5:23) This means Spiritual leader, men. This does NOT mean ruling with an iron fist, barking orders and turning them into well behaved slaves. It means leading in all matters pertaining to the faith and a Godly lifestyle for your family. The husband is responsible for the spiritual condition of his family. (Eph. 5:26,27)

• Husbands that honor God should "not be bitter" (Col. 3:19) towards the wife, but treat her with gentleness and love as to the "weaker vessel." (1 Peter 3:7)

• Husbands should be understanding of the wife, honoring her in all matters. He should understand that they are equally co-heirs with Christ under his grace. (1 Peter 3:7)

• The husband must fulfill the sexual desires of his wife and reserve ALL of his sexual desire for his wife alone. (1 Cor. 7:3,5)

• A godly husband is to nourish, care for and cherish his wife "as Christ does the church." (Eph. 5:29)

Notice the italicized words? Let me jot them down so that we may simplify what the twelve attributes of a godly man look like. How are we doing, men?

1.  Spiritual leader
2.  leading
3. responsible
4. not be bitter
5. gentle
6. loving
7. understanding
8. honoring
9. equally co-heirs with Christ under his grace
10. fulfill the sexual desires of his wife
11. reserve ALL of his sexual desire for his wife alone
12. nourish, care for and cherish his wife

The Wife :  

• A wife with godly character that honors God should look to here husband for spiritual guidance (1 Cor. 14:35) and be submissive to his decisions in all matters for their family. (Eph. 5:24) (Note: A godly man respectfully takes into great consideration the discernment of his wife on matters of their household.)

• The godly wife should be respectful of her husband. (Eph. 5:33)

• The wife should be self-controlled, busy at home, loving to their husbands and children in order to protect the testimony of God's word and her family. (Titus 2:5)

• Godly character that honors God in a woman is one of a gentle and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:4)

• The wife must fulfill the sexual desires of her husband and reserve ALL of her sexual desire for her husband alone. (1 Cor. 7:3,5) 

• A godly wife should have good sense, good judgment with noble character. (Pr. 19:14, 31:10)

So, let me break this down into the list format.

1. look to here husband for spiritual guidance
2. be submissive to his decisions
3. respectful
4. self-controlled
5. busy at home
6. loving
7. protect the testimony of God's word and her family
8. gentle and quiet spirit
9. fulfill the sexual desires of her husband
10. reserve ALL of her sexual desire for her husband alone
11. good sense, good judgment  
12.  noble character

   Now, we should all be able to do all twelve of these attributes perfectly and have 100% successful marriages, right?......Of course not! None of us could fall completely in line with these lists of attributes. It's comparative to following the ten commandments perfectly, it's impossible! That's because we are all imperfect creatures in need of God's mercy and grace. The topic at hand is not the perfect marriage, but a marriage that seems it is at it's end either internally in the thought life or externally through arguments and actions. This blog is about the marriage or spouse that has expended all resources in attempt to mend his or her marriage without any inkling of participation from their spouse.

Are you there?

Is this where you are in your marriage?

If so, my heart goes out to you.

   I know about how this circumstance can completely consume a person. It's as if you were drowning and gasping for air...screaming out with each available breath, "Please God.....please! Help me!! Someone please, I am drowning.....and my family is tied to my waist!!! 


Part 2 coming soon.

Molding our Motives

 Have you ever done something for someone and deep down you new that the only reason was to get something you wanted in return? Or... maybe it was to position your own agenda..... or to align a sequence of verbal or physical actions that move circumstances in your favor? I have.....I am guilty. I think if we were all honest about it....we are all guilty! If this is NOT the case, then I just revealed how dark, ugly and manipulative my thought process really can be to my viewers...and you are probably sitting there with an intensely wrinkled eyebrow thinking, "this man truly is a monster!" However, for hypothetical reasons, let's just go with this case being the mentality of the human majority.

  Let me give you a few examples just in case this is abnormal for your thought process.

• Have you ever gone to a certain function that you were not normally a fan of simply to win over a girl or guy.....and pretended to LOVE it? 

• Have you ever volunteered for long periods of time hoping to eventually receive something in return...like a paid position?  ...or maybe praise from your peers??

• Have you ever helped a friend only because you knew an event was coming up in the next couple weeks that you were going to need a baby sitter for....and you knew they would feel obligated?

• Have you ever asked friends to be praying about something you needed, only mentioning the "prayer request" to allow them to feel guilty enough to help you out?

• Have you ever given your spouse a back rub only anticipating your turn?

I'm sure that most of us can relate to at least one of these examples, if not all of them.

  It always seems that when we do this, more often than not, we generally do not get the outcome we desired- The girl/guy just wants to be friends or likes your brother/sister instead of you, the "sitter" already has something going on during the date of your event, your "prayer request" simply remains just that. Sometimes these attempts bear some fruit, but a lot of  the times we end up calling it quits, counting our losses and moving on. And even when we do get what we anticipated we generally feel manipulative, dirty and convicted.... And lucky to get a blessing from God.

  Now, of course, all this info is supposed to stay wrapped up tight in our thought life, never to be revealed, right? My intentions with this blog is not to condone these actions, but to reveal the heart of men and move towards God's forgiveness and grace so we may get to the root of the problem. And, I am also hoping that in the process we can all start to question our motives and attempt to honestly move towards godly character from the inside out. And just to clear the air, this blog is NOT intended to be a guilt trip. We all are in the same boat sinking without God's grace and the work of the Holy Spirit. However, if you do not have this relationship with the Savior, unfortunately you have no ammo in your gun. 

 Anyways, the first step is already out of the way, which was getting honest with yourself and revealing the sin for what it is. If we aren't able to acknowledge it as sin, or a problem then it is impossible to deal with it. If you think that these types of actions are acceptable.... then I guess you don't have a problem, right? But for those who really want to honor God with their life, we have hope of action and power to change through God's spirit. We need to WANT to change....we need to have a desire to live against our sinful nature and move towards Godly character.

  Secondly, we must go out of our way....seriously, this is hard work people! But yes, go out of your way to do things that are contrary to our own agenda or schedule. Do something for someone that has no "reward." Give your spouse a nice long massage, not allowing them to return the favor. Do great charity for certain people without letting anyone else know about your good deed. Yes, it will be hard to keep it in because we desire praise and approval from our friends and peers. But, can I tell you something?   

God    see's    you.

What more of a reward could we need? Can I tell you something else?

God   is   proud   of    you. 

God LOVES to see his children loving on people! Why? Because that is the very essence of His being, love! You are never more close to the Father then when you are loving on someone without motive. Or the only motive being that God has loved you and you are doing this charity in His name. If you can get to this point you have achieved great success. And, like anything in this life, it does get easier the more we do it.

Unfortunately......yes, the disclaimer! This is not something you do and then it's over. This has to be an ongoing process until the day you step into eternity. Which brings us to our third and final point in the "Molding our Motives" blog. We have to feed this godly desire. We have to constantly encourage this character and starve the selfish desires to live and operate only for our own agendas. This means, "more of you, and less of me" mentality. We can only feed this desire by staying in God's word and growing more intimate with our Creator through prayer, fellowship with those who encourage us in the faith and a lifestyle that honors God, which is worship by definition. Allow God's approval of you be all you need for self-worth. If you don't cinch up your relationship with him you will never accept his view of who you are.....which is- a son, daughter, a friend....One that he loves very dearly! Have you ever looked at your child or parent, spouse...or friend and thought,

       "I wouldn't want any other person to be my child / friend / parent / wife / husband than you! Give me all your imperfections, because      I      want      you!"

That is what God thinks of you...yes...YOU! To him, no one could take your place! To God, you are perfect! He has made you perfect....Perfect! Righteous in his eyes through the death of his Son, our savior.

Perfect.

 The thing that should encourage us the most to move in a direction of having selfless motives and a Christ centered thought life is simply knowing who we are to our Creator. When we choose to do things for others without reward... let knowing that we are sharing in the character of Christ be the fuel that allows us to give unrewarded charity with joy! On the other hand this must always be done with a humble heart knowing that the temptation of pride is waiting to devour us. Our battle against the flesh rages until life ends on this side of eternity....and so we press on!!

  I pray that this blog was helpful to you...and was encouraging to you in helping you mold your motives.

My First Blog!

  So, I Decided today to become a Blogger! Over this short journey of life I have been on with our Lord and with all of you, it seems I have a lot more to say than I thought. And, I know how powerful words really are...... often life changing! The saying of "Sticks and Stones" couldn't be further from the truth. Words can shape a life, consume our thought and motivate our actions. 

  This Blog is my outlet to influence my perception of, I believe, the very most  important matters of life, such as God, eternity, love, forgiveness, family, spiritual warfare..... sin, Christ's Body(the Church), and God's Word. Of course their are many, many other facets to life, but none of the other matters hold much weight in light of eternity.

  My prayer is that God will use my word's to inspire, encourage, rebuke, correct, plant a seed, move a heart, motivate a spirit, but most importantly bring sinner's to the cross of Christ, that they be washed spotless by His shed Blood; that they may find forgiveness in His scars, and eternal life in His resurrection; that people may come to live a life that honors our Savior.  


I pray that all who follow my Blog, if any, are blessed!